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Play your role! – Dating

02 Oct

The one thing I have come to realize is that in society, in many situations, we cunt bearers have roles to play. You know what I mean – the perfect Mum, the caring girlfriend, the efficient secretary. Whatever. They aren’t the best examples but fuck it, read on and you will understand what I mean.

Who am I as a person on a day to day basis? I am an extreme introvert. I laugh easily but only at things that actually amuse me. I am quiet, reserved, thoughtful and tend to keep my mouth shut and my eyes open because I am, if nothing else, an observer. I definitely do not open up to just anyone.

But. I am well trained. Put a human being with a cock in front of me that is of suitable quality to consider dating and it’s like a switch is flipped. Barbie mode is engaged and away we go. Suddenly every retarded thing that comes out of their mouth is hilarious. I open up about shit I rarely talk about with anyone in a bid to prove myself interesting and worth getting to know. If it’s online I feign cuteness with absurd emoticons like “:3” which is what? A fucking cat face? I mean yeah it’s amusing and all but it’s not something I do when talking to any other single human being except potential dating material, and only ones with cocks at that. For some reason when talking with women I find attractive and would date, I do not devolve into mindless giggling Barbie mode. I also fake happy when in a grump, which happens on an often enough basis, laugh when I would rather they shut up so I can concentrate on something that actually interests me, and find myself lauding them with false praise for being able to do simple shit I learned when I was 11 – like cook and clean up after themselves.

Fucking what?

Yanno what this is? Fucking female socialization. And I am so incredibly fucking sick of falling prey to it. Not only do I NOT want a relationship right now, I am not even sure I am in the right mind space to HAVE one after escaping an abusive marriage and subsequent mind fuck relationship that lasted the better (worse) part of two years.

And yet? The switch gets flipped, the behavior switch happens instantaneously and I sit in my head watching myself going what the fuck just happened, what is going on, why am I DOING this?

Socialization is a powerful thing. In fact I am aware of this shit and haven’t been able to stop it yet. In fact I think that is why I am writing this blog. Because I can SEE all of these fucked up things and I need them acknowledged. I need to write about it. I need to dissect it and maybe in the process severe some fucking arteries and hope it all dies.

Because fuck living in this prison called female socialization.

Do you fall into this too? Lets talk. Comment below.

Much love,
Tafff’y

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6 Comments

Posted by on October 2, 2011 in Dating, Female Socialization

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

6 responses to “Play your role! – Dating

  1. nevyn

    October 4, 2011 at 12:04 am

    It’s called genetics, the fundamental survival of the species. To breed you need to attract one of the opposite sex. The only problem is that some dick turned it into a way to undermine us all. The people responsible were undoubtably male as a way to excuse their shitty behaviour.

     
  2. Fede

    October 23, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Oh, yes, I fall into it, too. I am a radical feminist, I am 100% aware of female socialisation, and I STILL can’t stop my voice from going an octave higher and more cute’n’soft when I speak to my boyfriend. It’s maddening.

    I’m sorry, nevyn, but I do not agree that this is anything to do with genetics. It is a product of the hateful social order called patriarchy. I don’t even think we can blame on genetics the fact that so many of us still want to find a male mate even though we know what most men think of us. There’s more to that than just sexual orientation and/or the fear of being lonely.

    Every woman is taught that her entire raison d’etre is to be a helpmeet to The Man. Single women, if they are not young and sexy and therefore not potential trophies, are ostracised and ridiculed. It’s difficult to be completely content in life when you’re ostracised and ridiculed. That’s why most of us comply.

    You’re right, Tafff’y. Fuck this prison. We just gotta keep on digging, because at least when we’re in the tunnel, we can preserve our self-respect.

     
    • tafffy

      October 28, 2011 at 7:31 am

      Fuck it indeeeed! ❤

       
  3. doctressjulia

    October 24, 2011 at 7:29 am

    Holy shit. We have many things in common. I’ve never married, but the abusive mindfucking men I’ve had in my life have made me finally swear them off forever. They’re no good. Not a one of them.

     
  4. Jordana

    October 28, 2011 at 4:07 am

    I cooked twice for my boyfriend in the 14 months we’ve been dating. I don’t cook but felt a need to make him pasta and french toast in order for him to think I’m sweet I guess. Other than that, I’d always try to be honest about how I was doing or what I was feeling because I didn’t want him to fall in love with an illusion. I was always happy to see him, even if I was depressed but I still wanted him to know how I was really feeling. Now we live together and he does most of the laundry/cooking/cleaning and will even pack a lunch for me every once in a while. He doesn’t give a shit when I’m too lazy to shave or shower or that I gained and lost seven pounds.

    Socialization is powerful and it’s really hard to get over. I think it’s a large part of why people can’t seem to stay together; they’re not being genuine enough around one another.

     
    • tafffy

      October 28, 2011 at 7:37 am

      Right and when the act drops, disillusion sets in and relationship goes BOOOOOM. Fucking vicious circle.

      Also good on you for having an authentic experience in your relationship 🙂

       

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