Call it the beginning of a series of question based blog posts. Not necessarily asking for advice, but more asking how YOU cope with something.
So. How do YOU not lose themselves in the dating process in terms of playing the female socialization role, like a good little girl, to attract a partner?
You know what I mean… the challenge it is to be, act, talk and behave a certain way to make oneself more desirable. And, while I am on this subject, I might as well dispel my ignorance and ask is this a struggle in lesbian courting? Or is this a patriarchy infused hetero issue only?
As for me I find myself playing into either the quirky girl trope I mentioned in this blog post, or pretending I am way more cheerful, bubbly, talkative, positive than I really am. I mean ever. In reality I am actually quite reserved, usually deep in my own thoughts, quiet, studious, creative and a perfectionist. So why the smoke screen? Female socialization, yo.
And inevitably, the urge to keep up the smoke screen fades or I just become too preoccupied with LIVING to worry about how brilliantly I am knowing my role, and get pissed at their expectations while they get all “you’re not the saaaaame WAAAAAH!” (Which, incidently reads to me like “You’re not the useless, needy fangirl of me anymoooooore Waaaaaah!”). I mean I admit I would do myself well to just say fuck socialization and let a partner be attracted to what you see is what you get, but then the “OMG I WILL BE ALONE FOREVER!” fear kicks in and acting it is! Except, yanno… when I think about it, being alone sounds pretty fucking awesome… if it didn’t come with the socialization that being alone as a woman = VRT VRT VRT FAILURE! FAILURE!
How do YOU handle this issue?